Yesterday!

You know "Yesterday" by the Beatles! All my troubles seemed so far away...now it looks as though their here to stay! All I can say is yesterday was rough!

When I saw Laurel showing Elise and Katy how to drag the towel while holding their body up on their forearms...my first thought was "OK Laurel is not making this look too easy...I know my girls are going to be hurting!!!" Then she came over to me with a ball that was flat on one side. She flips the ball over and I held myself up with my forearms on the flat side while turning the ball in circular motions!!! MAN! I was sweating like a pig!!! Then she says turn it SLOWLY! OMG! I thought I would never finish 2 and had to do 5 per rep!

Then to add insult to injury during our time of torture she is actually clicking pictures and taking videos in order to post them right here on our BLOG!!! As if this whole process has not been humiliating enough! Now the whole world gets to see us at our worst! All I could hear was grunting from myself, Elise and Katy!

I think out of all the days yesterday was one of the most fierce and rough days! I believe it was the combination of exercises!

Speaking of the Beatles "Its been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog! Its been a hard days night...I should be sleeping like a log!!!" I found myself having muscle spasms in the middle of the night! I did what any normal person would do...got up...started walking and cursing Laurel under my breath!

We got our body fat percentage taken yesterday by Laurel! Who ever invented that pinching tool! I thought we were in the horror movie SAW V - CUT OFF THE FAT IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!! However I am anxious to see the results! Johanna has that to look forward to when she returns! Vegas is a scary place! They want your gambling money so FOOD is CHEAP! All you can eat buffets for $4.95!!! What happens in Vegas...I got faith in you though JO!

Lucky us because tonight we get Mike! Maybe if I click my heels three times I can be at home like the Beatles "Back in the U.S.S.R. "

Until next time my peeps!

White Men Can't Jump (and Neither Can Elise)

Nothing like a daily dose of humiliation to keep one's ego in check. BCTG is certainly building my strength, but it has proven to be showcase for my lack of balance, grace, and coordination...

and wardrobe malfunctions.

Yeah, yesterday, Hope forgot her sneakers. When I saw her walk in in her gym clothes and work shoes, I burst into laughter (or as I now call it, "abs warm-up"). Oh, but karma came back with the quickness. Just minutes later, I was forced to run around the parking lot strapped to some horrific metal contraption that's weighted down. They call it The Sled (as in a dog sled...but YOU are the dog). The sight of me awkwardly maneuvering the beast, red faced and panting, was disturbing enough. To add insult to injury, I happened to be wearing a pair of sweat pants whose drawstring is in a permanent knot and cannot be adjusted. So, each time I moved forward my pants slipped down, exposing the top of my thong for all to see. And no, I didn't have the foresight to wear cute undergarments. I would have traded places with Janet Jackson at the Superbowl in a heartbeat.

This may be Boot Camp, but while one might imagine themselves as a soldier on a mission, there is no way I can attempt to look brave or stoic while pulling myself across the floor by my forearms, dragging a towel with my feet. Nor would I pass as the Bride in Kill Bill (in the hospital scene where she can't use her legs). At best: an injured caterpillar groping her way to safety.

As for jumping...apparently I couldn't jump to my death and land on two feet. One of our circuit exercises tonight was 15 reps of jump-ups onto a set of mats about 16 inches high. Laurel kept telling me to land on both feet and Katy encouraged me to lift my knees, but all I could manage was some sort of "Extreme Square Dance" with the mats. The harder I tried (with little mini-jumps on the floor) the more comedic it became, as it threw Katy completely off our reps. (Picture a drunken, jumping, polka see-saw.) It took 5 rounds of the circuit before I could actually hit the mats with both feet (and at that point I'm sure Katy was ready to jump off my body instead of the mats).

However, I should add that BCTG allows you to make a complete ass of yourself without feeling like one. Unlike other gyms where you can mind yourself with mirrors and check out what everyone else is doing, the BCTG routine keeps you focused on yourself. Not only is everyone pushing themselves, you simply don't have a moment to gaze around and compare yourself to others. You're not there to "work out pretty," and you won't be intimidated by the clients...just the trainers.

Speaking of which...BCTG's owner (and our trainer) Laurel Blackburn was selected as Tallahassee's 25 Women You Need To Know 2010 and an article featuring her can be seen here:
http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/201003020200/BUSINESS/3020321

And to my KO's:

• Katy, you are NOT the weakest link! I appreciate your energy and encouragement. It's hard to keep up with a 20-something, and I love how you push me.
• Hope: You inspire me by putting 100% into this challenge in spite of bad knee, illness, etc. You help me keep the negative wimpy thoughts away.
• Jo: We miss you and know how impossible it is to keep up with the fitness quest while on the road. Just do what you can...the GTO KO's and BCTG will be here for you when you return. If you can't exercise in Vegas, at least do some decent shopping! :)

Can I Blame My Lack of Posting on My Dedication to Exercise??

Ok, so it’s been ages since I’ve actually sat down to post. I will apologize to our thousands of loyal fan readers who I know wait with baited breath for each new post.

I wanted to do a theme for this blog, as that seems to be our trend. However, as I have just turned 24 and am now an old woman, my brain gets scattered and I know I will end up just rambling. So, here are some random thoughts from the past few weeks:

I have to admit I’ve been starting to feel discouraged and unmotivated- it’s hard when everyone is telling you that they don’t know why you’re even in this competition, you don’t need to lose any weight, etc.

However, I recently did a 6k “fun run” (oxymoron if there ever was one), and placed 3^rd for the women! It was such a feeling of accomplishment, especially since it had been ages since I’d really run and pushed myself. My legs are just so much stronger than they’ve been, and I know it’s because of all our kettlebell training and boot camps! And it was just the energizing thing I needed. It felt good to see a measurable difference and to really say, THIS is at least part of why I am doing this competition!

My GTO KO ladies also came through for me, fitness-wise. For my birthday (did I mention I am now an old woman yet?) I got training gloves, magazines on women’s running and fitness, as well as a bunch of cooking supplies and cookbooks for HEALTHY eating! With Elise’s total aversion to running, I know how hard it must have been to be seen buying *gasp* running magazines! I guess I’ll just have to start making dinners (no carrots, I promise) for her to take home as a “thank you!” On top of that, I also got running clothes from another special someone. And it felt great, knowing that I do have the support to keep this competition going, to prove to everyone that there is a contribution I can make to this team.

I won’t let you down ladies! I know I am the “weak link” for our success, and I will work my rear end off (oh that would be so nice!) to make sure I am the strongest link I can possibly be!

A Play on Words

Have you ever noticed how words can make or break your day? CAUTION! The tongue is a powerful weapon!

The disambiguation of joker is to grab YOUR kettle bell and do overhead arm lifts! How man jokers (and hearts) did they have in that deck? And when did the Kettle Bell become OUR possession? Your is our without the Y!

Then there are words that cause that proverbial cringe! Now the next set I want you to HOLD IT....HOLD IT! Push ups and suicides! Did I forget to mention up a hill?

Whispered words! You can hear loudly those whispered words of temptation...like CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!! I know you've heard your parents say Good Whispers and Evil Shouts! Is that why you cry out when exercising? Its just down right evil!

Concerned Words! Knee...shoulder...smile...breathe! The scale is not your friend! Are you ok? We want you to be able to walk afterwards! No pain No gain! Lets redefine pain and gain! Panic Attack Inside Nerves! Gee Am I Nuts????

Loving words! Massage...inspiration....Ice pack! I love your determination! Don't worry you will be able to get up and down faster!

Hunger words! Buffet...Fat! But I don't want to pick up a heavier Kettle Bell! I want freakin FOOD!

And you thought BCTG stood for Boot Camps To Go! More like Brutal Camps to go! Thanks Laurel and Mike! You two rock!!!!

It's Hard to Love a Carrot

This week, Laurel was kind (?) enough to email us about tracking ingredients instead of calories. Basically, you'll eat better if the foods you consume have 5 ingredients or less.

Imagine my dismay upon learning that Healthy Choice frozen dinners are not healthy! Wait, doesn't mental health count? My brain is comforted by meals that can be prepared in 5 minutes. (Hmm, maybe if I could download that microwave "bing" to my alarm, I wouldn't need the snooze button).

I am not a Foodie, meaning I do not like to prepare meals, don't care about "gourmet," and won't order a dinner I can't pronounce. I get anxiety attacks in grocery stores. Seriously, my friend Ann witnessed my breakdown when trying to select ketchup from an overwhelming display of choices.

This is how food-stupid I am: my brother was doing BBQ, and I asked everyone how they wanted their chicken done. (My brother chided that "done" is the key word with chicken.) I once tried to make hamburgers on the stove and added so much pepper that it drove my entire family, choking and crying, out of the house and set off the smoke alarm. There's a video of when we purchased our house, and Ann opens the oven and says, "Look...extra cabinet space for Elise."

I'm all about food that can be eaten right out of the package. Open, heat, serve. Better yet (as in gouda cheese): open and serve with crackers.

Today, I actually opened a cookbook to see if I could prepare a meal with real--not processed--ingredients. My daughter was horrified by the dust that littered the table every time I turned a page. (Yes, friends and family, I haven't touched those cookbooks since you gave them to me as wedding presents almost 19 years ago). It was depressing. Everything that looked good was "bad"; and everything that disgusted me was "good."

I'm on a quest to find foods I can eat that don't involve the kitchen.

Therefore I eat a lot of carrots.

I'm sure there is some type of "Eat Healthy Tasty Foods Without Cooking" website out there. But I have a feeling it will involve carrots.

Team Luv

This evening, I really, really did not want to go to Boot Camp. It was one of those weeks when all I wanted was a Friday night "slugfest," as in being a slug: no mental activity and minimizing movement to slinking from computer to couch to bed.

Didn't help that all the GTO KO's could not be there tonight (Hope's sick and Jo was required to work overtime). Although Katy had many reasons to opt out (it's her birthday weekend and company is arriving this evening), she committed to show. Therefore, I could not invent an excuse for taking the night off. Damn that Katy!

Of course, it was one of those BCTG evenings where the workout was not posted on the wall. (What's worse...knowing your torture or it being a surprise?) I saw a line of cones in the parking lot—each with a little draw-erase board face-down alongside them—and my stomach sank with dread. Basically, it was a "suicide" run between cones with certain exercises required at each cone (lunges, burpees, jump squats, skates, bicycles, push-ups, etc.) Each turn, you had to go to a cone, complete the exercise and return to the finish line (kettlebell swings) and then advance to the next cone. The kicker was that on the way up and down the line, you had to return to all previous cones and complete those exercises again (and again and again).

At the second return to the burpees, both my body and mind were screaming "you will not be able to complete this course!" I was mentally and physically exhausted and desperately trying to concoct reasons that Mike should give me alternate exercises. But every time I looked up, Katy was a cone ahead. Although she's a brand-new 24 year-old (Happy Birthday Katy) she had more reasons than I not to be there...but, there she was with her perky little 20-something body chiding my 40-something slug ass to MOVE. As she cheered me on to finish the course when it was announced "one minute left," I could picture Jo yelling, "You can do it, girl" and Hope's smile of encouragement.

I finished in time and all the hell-pinch-butt exercises that followed. But only because of my team. If I were doing this alone, it would be so easy to skip or cheat myself out of a full workout.

Thank you GTO KO's for keeping me motivated and committed, whether you're there in body or in spirit. You keep me committed.

The Murph that Morphs Us

This cold, rainy evening, I ran for the cover of the BCTG warehouse looking forward to a workout that would take the chill from my bones. Anything to escape the bitter reminder that Spring is not nearby.

One never knows what's in store at Boot Camps To Go. Oh, sure, sometimes they post the evening's workout on the wall. Though to comprehend the pain looming in the 45-minute horizon, one would have to be well-versed in the BCTG lingo. Spider-Man push-ups, Burpees, Y squats (indeed, why squat?), and tonight's Murph.

Murph? I have no clue what Murph stands for; my only guess is Man U R (in) Physical Hell.

As I perused the Murph lists (there were two), I panicked and desperately searched the wall for Murph 3...something 3...anything but what I saw before me. Because Murph involves running, as in outdoors—and on this particular evening, in the cold rain.

Once convinced that Mike and Laurel weren't joking, I opted for Murph 2: run 1/2 mile, 150 squats, 100 pushups, 50 pull-ups, and run another 1/2 mile.

Note: Murph 1 *doubled* the aforementioned. Shout out to Katy Z for tackling Murph 1!

As I ran/hobbled/grunted/panted in the rain, eyes watering from the cold, snot dripping down my face (a humiliation viewed by the drivers on Capital Circle), one thought kept me going: We are morphing.

I can see how Jo, Katy, and Hope's bodies are already showing the rewards of our WellQuest Challenge in just 2.5 weeks. They claim to see changes in mine. It's funny how these changes aren't as obvious to ourselves when we look in the mirror. Self-image can be a nasty demon—it may take a crucifix, a dark stairway and some split pea soup to exorcise. But, we CAN change our bodies. Just know that we will only do so within the confines of our genetic make-up.

By that I mean, we can improve our figures, but don't set unrealistic goals. For instance, my rear end is one of my most hated features. I can't diet my way to a firm ass, though a combination of exercise and diet will get me there. But, if I want a butt that looks like Pink's...I better call a plastic surgeon. I'm never going to have that junk in my trunk; it's physically impossible.

So, ladies, as we challenge ourselves and support one another, remember that we can't hold ourselves up to Photoshopped celebrities who have personal chefs, daily physical trainers, and strict managers. We are murphing and morphing into better versions of ourselves.