In order for change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Sick of looking in the mirror and seeing a stranger!
Tired of trying diet after diet only to be submissive to failure!
Sick of not being able to buy the cute clothes and having to settle for the sacks they sell for overweight people!
Tired of not being able to bend over and tie my shoes comfortably!
Sick of seeing skinny women and wondering: what would that size feel like?!?!
Tired of not being approached by an interested person!
Sick of myself telling fat jokes to feel like I belong!
Tired of getting passed up for a promotion to a skinny individual who is less qualified!
Sick of writing for now because this too shall pass....
Second week of boot camp and still waiting for the day that I can wake up and not feel pain! Kettle Bells are the bomba! ;-)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Rollercoaster
Yesterday’s Boot Camp was killer both physically and emotionally. Who knew that working out would be stressful on the body and the mind? I went into class pumped and ready to rock but quickly felt myself become more and more self conscious about my poor form and “weakness.” Whenever I was on a “high” I quickly came slamming back down to earth.
Station 1: Box Jumps
After the second set of “jumps” (where we had to jump on and off a mat platform about 1’ off the ground) my enthusiasm and energy had diminished significantly. My legs just didn’t want to cooperate and jump up; they kept trying to sneak in a step instead of a two legged jump. I found my brain chanting (out loud) “you can do this, you can do it, you can do it.” My teammate, Hope, quickly joined in with, "you’re doing great girl….good job Jo.” Seeing Hope struggling with her own modified “jump” and somehow finding the strength to motivate me made me push a little harder and find the courage to keep jumping to the end.
Station 2: Step Downs
At the next station, we stood (on one leg) on a step and attempted to touch the floor without having our standing knee go over our toes. Simple enough…I think not! I thought I had it all figured until Trainer Mike walked over. He stood next to me and just stared…I quickly responded with, “I’m doing it wrong,” in my most pathetic voice. “Yes,” he said simply and started to correct my form. After 3 attempts the buzzer went off (our queue to move to the next station) and still I had not figured it out. I lowered my head, and feeling a failure, sheepishly moved to the next station...Mountain Climbers.
Station 3: Mountain Climbers (with Sliders)
If Mountain Climbers were an Olympic sport I would be in Canada (cleaning up after the real athletes). Imagine yourself in a push up position and then climbing/sliding one leg at a time on the floor. The goal is to move your foot as far forward and to the opposite side as possible, rapidly. I had finally found a station that I could complete with decent form and without being sent to the morgue. What I didn’t realize until this morning, was that when you finally utilize “good form” you hurt in all the right/wrong places. This exercise has muscles I didn’t know existed in pain, but at least I can do it for…30 seconds straight! That’s enough to get me on a high.
Station 4: Shoulder Press with Ropes
This station requires you to do a “butterfly stroke” while standing and holding the heaviest ropes in the world. At least that’s what I thought the exercise was about until….Trainer Mike walked over again and said “What are you doing?” This straightforward statement made my stomach drop. Here I was, on this high from the last station only to be told I was doing something wrong again! Did I mention this was our second round at this station so I’d been doing it wrong for a while? To make, matters worse the buzzer went off again before I could correct my form. I thought to myself, “this sucks!” and then I remembered the sign on the wall behind me that says…”Sucking, sucks” –Bart Simpson. Talk about inspiration…I will not suck!
Station 5: Skaters on BOSU
This is easy breezy. That’s not to say it wasn’t hard work, but at least I can do this. This station is about endurance more than strength so I was able to push myself. There were a couple of times when I nearly tripped over my feet (and the half sphere I was bouncing off of.) The trainers may need to invest in a mouth guard for this station now that I’m here. Having never really skated (unless 3 skating rink parties in 8th grade count) my coordination needs some work. But I left this station feeling encouraged and capable until…
Station 6: Pull up on rings
This by far, has got to be the most difficult of all our stations. Rings hang from the ceiling and we are to pull ourselves up using the rings. My mind started racing…”Ha! Are they kidding! This must be some type of cruel joke, there is no way I can do this.” But, we are in competition so I have to give it my all right? Well I guarantee that if anyone was watching me they would have had no idea that I was giving it my all. Picture this… I have to stand on my tippy toes to reach the rings, then, I hold them in my hands and let out a squeak/grunt as I jump up and try to hold myself up. This is definitely not correct form but at Week 2 it’s all I’ve got. The girl next to me, alarmed by my squeak/grunt looks over and cracks a smile. I can tell she wants to laugh but is too polite. Can’t say I blame her though. After doing this 10 more times the buzzer goes off and…..
we get to do this rollercoaster ALL over again!
Station 1: Box Jumps
After the second set of “jumps” (where we had to jump on and off a mat platform about 1’ off the ground) my enthusiasm and energy had diminished significantly. My legs just didn’t want to cooperate and jump up; they kept trying to sneak in a step instead of a two legged jump. I found my brain chanting (out loud) “you can do this, you can do it, you can do it.” My teammate, Hope, quickly joined in with, "you’re doing great girl….good job Jo.” Seeing Hope struggling with her own modified “jump” and somehow finding the strength to motivate me made me push a little harder and find the courage to keep jumping to the end.
Station 2: Step Downs
At the next station, we stood (on one leg) on a step and attempted to touch the floor without having our standing knee go over our toes. Simple enough…I think not! I thought I had it all figured until Trainer Mike walked over. He stood next to me and just stared…I quickly responded with, “I’m doing it wrong,” in my most pathetic voice. “Yes,” he said simply and started to correct my form. After 3 attempts the buzzer went off (our queue to move to the next station) and still I had not figured it out. I lowered my head, and feeling a failure, sheepishly moved to the next station...Mountain Climbers.
Station 3: Mountain Climbers (with Sliders)
If Mountain Climbers were an Olympic sport I would be in Canada (cleaning up after the real athletes). Imagine yourself in a push up position and then climbing/sliding one leg at a time on the floor. The goal is to move your foot as far forward and to the opposite side as possible, rapidly. I had finally found a station that I could complete with decent form and without being sent to the morgue. What I didn’t realize until this morning, was that when you finally utilize “good form” you hurt in all the right/wrong places. This exercise has muscles I didn’t know existed in pain, but at least I can do it for…30 seconds straight! That’s enough to get me on a high.
Station 4: Shoulder Press with Ropes
This station requires you to do a “butterfly stroke” while standing and holding the heaviest ropes in the world. At least that’s what I thought the exercise was about until….Trainer Mike walked over again and said “What are you doing?” This straightforward statement made my stomach drop. Here I was, on this high from the last station only to be told I was doing something wrong again! Did I mention this was our second round at this station so I’d been doing it wrong for a while? To make, matters worse the buzzer went off again before I could correct my form. I thought to myself, “this sucks!” and then I remembered the sign on the wall behind me that says…”Sucking, sucks” –Bart Simpson. Talk about inspiration…I will not suck!
Station 5: Skaters on BOSU
This is easy breezy. That’s not to say it wasn’t hard work, but at least I can do this. This station is about endurance more than strength so I was able to push myself. There were a couple of times when I nearly tripped over my feet (and the half sphere I was bouncing off of.) The trainers may need to invest in a mouth guard for this station now that I’m here. Having never really skated (unless 3 skating rink parties in 8th grade count) my coordination needs some work. But I left this station feeling encouraged and capable until…
Station 6: Pull up on rings
This by far, has got to be the most difficult of all our stations. Rings hang from the ceiling and we are to pull ourselves up using the rings. My mind started racing…”Ha! Are they kidding! This must be some type of cruel joke, there is no way I can do this.” But, we are in competition so I have to give it my all right? Well I guarantee that if anyone was watching me they would have had no idea that I was giving it my all. Picture this… I have to stand on my tippy toes to reach the rings, then, I hold them in my hands and let out a squeak/grunt as I jump up and try to hold myself up. This is definitely not correct form but at Week 2 it’s all I’ve got. The girl next to me, alarmed by my squeak/grunt looks over and cracks a smile. I can tell she wants to laugh but is too polite. Can’t say I blame her though. After doing this 10 more times the buzzer goes off and…..
we get to do this rollercoaster ALL over again!
In the Doghouse
Yesterday, we had to turn in our food journals. I was pretty happy with mine because I had been good about staying within my target calories. Also, when I compared what I ate to my "previous life" it was a drastic improvement.
So, I emailed the journal to my trainer, Laurel. And she send back a professionally worded succinct email that basically stated I have too much fat in my diet and I am eating too many processed foods and not enough nutritious ones. If you read between the lines, what she really said was, "Are you CRAZY? How can you fill your body with this crap and win the competition?! Are you wasting my time?"
My stomach dropped. I felt like a kid, you know... when you done something much worse than angering you parents; you've disappointed them. Ugh. "Why don't you go to your room and think about what you've done." Double Ugh.
So, I had plenty of time to think about it on my drive to Orlando. What I realized is that I am doing this half-assed. Yeah, I'm exercising and counting calories, but I'm not really analyzing WHAT I am putting into my body and HOW it affects my health. I'm just swimming in the river of Denial (not found in Egypt) thinking that being "better than before" is good enough.
And it is not.
So, I eyeballed that second Babybel Light and grabbed the carrot sticks instead. Last night I crawled into bed and curled up with a stack of handouts from Laurel and the nutritionist and *really* read them.
Today I'll be studying food labels in a whole new way. Hopefully, this week's food journal will reflect that.
And perhaps my trainer will let me crawl out of the doghouse.
So, I emailed the journal to my trainer, Laurel. And she send back a professionally worded succinct email that basically stated I have too much fat in my diet and I am eating too many processed foods and not enough nutritious ones. If you read between the lines, what she really said was, "Are you CRAZY? How can you fill your body with this crap and win the competition?! Are you wasting my time?"
My stomach dropped. I felt like a kid, you know... when you done something much worse than angering you parents; you've disappointed them. Ugh. "Why don't you go to your room and think about what you've done." Double Ugh.
So, I had plenty of time to think about it on my drive to Orlando. What I realized is that I am doing this half-assed. Yeah, I'm exercising and counting calories, but I'm not really analyzing WHAT I am putting into my body and HOW it affects my health. I'm just swimming in the river of Denial (not found in Egypt) thinking that being "better than before" is good enough.
And it is not.
So, I eyeballed that second Babybel Light and grabbed the carrot sticks instead. Last night I crawled into bed and curled up with a stack of handouts from Laurel and the nutritionist and *really* read them.
Today I'll be studying food labels in a whole new way. Hopefully, this week's food journal will reflect that.
And perhaps my trainer will let me crawl out of the doghouse.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Association
Have you ever noticed when you are on a mission in life everything you look at or read...you can associate to your current situation? This is a perfect example:
Gratitude unlocks the turmoils (fitness) of life (What was I thinking trying out for this torture)! It turns what we have (fat) into enough (food for thought), and more (muscle).
It turns denial into acceptance (I am fat and not just big boned!), chaos into order (stress can be lowered with exercise), and confusion into clarity (Just because it says "healthy" doesn't mean it is!). It turns problems into gifts (I am right where I need to be), failures into success (You can't JUST say to me "You have a pretty face" anymore!), the unexpected into perfect timing (It's never too late to start being fit), and mistakes into important events. (Whoever thought of the biggest Loser contest????)
At the end of our first week all I have to say is OUCH!!!!!!
Gratitude unlocks the turmoils (fitness) of life (What was I thinking trying out for this torture)! It turns what we have (fat) into enough (food for thought), and more (muscle).
It turns denial into acceptance (I am fat and not just big boned!), chaos into order (stress can be lowered with exercise), and confusion into clarity (Just because it says "healthy" doesn't mean it is!). It turns problems into gifts (I am right where I need to be), failures into success (You can't JUST say to me "You have a pretty face" anymore!), the unexpected into perfect timing (It's never too late to start being fit), and mistakes into important events. (Whoever thought of the biggest Loser contest????)
At the end of our first week all I have to say is OUCH!!!!!!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Kettlebell Schwing!
GTO KO's completed the first week of BCTG! Party time...excellent!
Not really...we can't party till May, but by then we'll be so babelicious and won't want to. Yeah, right, pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon, goat cheese, crackers, and chocolate?
Friday was a killer. After an intense circuit, we were given the option to work hard and leave early. The KO's knew there was a catch; we voted "No way."
"Way"...so we ended the evening swinging one-armed kettlebells. Snap those hips! Our cop (do I smell bacon?), I mean, trainer pointed out my incorrect form. "The kettlebell should be coming out from behind your butt!"
I wanted to shout out, "When kettlebells fly out of my butt!" or "We're not worthy!" but thought I might hurl.
This was only week 1 and we have 11 weeks to go. It's like a new pair of underwear...at first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.
The bathing suit bod will be mine...oh yes, it will be mine.
Please note that portions of this blog are attributed to Wayne's World and no copyright infringement was intended.
Not really...we can't party till May, but by then we'll be so babelicious and won't want to. Yeah, right, pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon, goat cheese, crackers, and chocolate?
Friday was a killer. After an intense circuit, we were given the option to work hard and leave early. The KO's knew there was a catch; we voted "No way."
"Way"...so we ended the evening swinging one-armed kettlebells. Snap those hips! Our cop (do I smell bacon?), I mean, trainer pointed out my incorrect form. "The kettlebell should be coming out from behind your butt!"
I wanted to shout out, "When kettlebells fly out of my butt!" or "We're not worthy!" but thought I might hurl.
This was only week 1 and we have 11 weeks to go. It's like a new pair of underwear...at first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.
The bathing suit bod will be mine...oh yes, it will be mine.
Please note that portions of this blog are attributed to Wayne's World and no copyright infringement was intended.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Husband/Significant Other Code of Conduct
1. Don't Offer Temptations
Believe me, we can do this all on our own. If you want to go out for dinner, please pick a restaurant where we can exercise some healthy choices and portion control. (Note to my husband: The Melting Pot offers neither). *You* don't have to diet...but we need options to win this competition.
2. When Temptations Lurk
Words of encouragement are appreciated...
a) "I'm proud of your determination."
b) "I can't believe you skipped the gouda, you kick ass."
c) "I'm taking you to Tiffany's to buy a diamond necklace to go with your new bathing suit."
3. When We Cave into Temptation
Don't bother to criticize/point out our set-backs. Our trainer will do that for you...not to mention we'll wallow in self-loathing. Be forewarned: if you happen to say something like "Wow, you just ate 3 days worth of calories," your body may eventually be discovered at the bottom of Lake Ella (if the ducks don't eat you first). Be smart and refer to 2(c).
4. Reward
Getting fit is the goal, but diamonds are fat-free and last forever. See 2(c).
Believe me, we can do this all on our own. If you want to go out for dinner, please pick a restaurant where we can exercise some healthy choices and portion control. (Note to my husband: The Melting Pot offers neither). *You* don't have to diet...but we need options to win this competition.
2. When Temptations Lurk
Words of encouragement are appreciated...
a) "I'm proud of your determination."
b) "I can't believe you skipped the gouda, you kick ass."
c) "I'm taking you to Tiffany's to buy a diamond necklace to go with your new bathing suit."
3. When We Cave into Temptation
Don't bother to criticize/point out our set-backs. Our trainer will do that for you...not to mention we'll wallow in self-loathing. Be forewarned: if you happen to say something like "Wow, you just ate 3 days worth of calories," your body may eventually be discovered at the bottom of Lake Ella (if the ducks don't eat you first). Be smart and refer to 2(c).
4. Reward
Getting fit is the goal, but diamonds are fat-free and last forever. See 2(c).
Support Group
Supportive quotes of week 1:
Sunday
Passing a giant billboard of a juicy burger and fries for Five Guys Burgers...
Mike: "Now, thats where we need to eat lunch!"
Jo: "Really Mike...I cant do this on my own, I need your support or I will fail"
Mike: "In that case I will be eating Five Guys for lunch"
Thursday
Mike: "How do steaks sound for dinner tomorrow night?"
Jo: "Sounds good"
Mike: "We can cut up that meat in the freezer and make three GIANT ASS ribeyes!"
Jo: "Really Mike, think about what I'm trying to do and what you just said"
Mike: "You think about what I just said and what I'm trying to do. So what we just give up meat then?"
Later Thursday
Jo: Dang, I still have 700 Calories I should eat today."
Mike: "If I were you, I'd drink them."
Jo: "I don't know if I should laugh or smack you."
Mike: "You should have a beer and think it over."
Sunday
Passing a giant billboard of a juicy burger and fries for Five Guys Burgers...
Mike: "Now, thats where we need to eat lunch!"
Jo: "Really Mike...I cant do this on my own, I need your support or I will fail"
Mike: "In that case I will be eating Five Guys for lunch"
Thursday
Mike: "How do steaks sound for dinner tomorrow night?"
Jo: "Sounds good"
Mike: "We can cut up that meat in the freezer and make three GIANT ASS ribeyes!"
Jo: "Really Mike, think about what I'm trying to do and what you just said"
Mike: "You think about what I just said and what I'm trying to do. So what we just give up meat then?"
Later Thursday
Jo: Dang, I still have 700 Calories I should eat today."
Mike: "If I were you, I'd drink them."
Jo: "I don't know if I should laugh or smack you."
Mike: "You should have a beer and think it over."
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