Yesterday, we had to turn in our food journals. I was pretty happy with mine because I had been good about staying within my target calories. Also, when I compared what I ate to my "previous life" it was a drastic improvement.
So, I emailed the journal to my trainer, Laurel. And she send back a professionally worded succinct email that basically stated I have too much fat in my diet and I am eating too many processed foods and not enough nutritious ones. If you read between the lines, what she really said was, "Are you CRAZY? How can you fill your body with this crap and win the competition?! Are you wasting my time?"
My stomach dropped. I felt like a kid, you know... when you done something much worse than angering you parents; you've disappointed them. Ugh. "Why don't you go to your room and think about what you've done." Double Ugh.
So, I had plenty of time to think about it on my drive to Orlando. What I realized is that I am doing this half-assed. Yeah, I'm exercising and counting calories, but I'm not really analyzing WHAT I am putting into my body and HOW it affects my health. I'm just swimming in the river of Denial (not found in Egypt) thinking that being "better than before" is good enough.
And it is not.
So, I eyeballed that second Babybel Light and grabbed the carrot sticks instead. Last night I crawled into bed and curled up with a stack of handouts from Laurel and the nutritionist and *really* read them.
Today I'll be studying food labels in a whole new way. Hopefully, this week's food journal will reflect that.
And perhaps my trainer will let me crawl out of the doghouse.